Either/Or vs. Both/And

​If you’d mentioned the term oxymoron to me back in 5th grade, I would have thought it a fancy way of saying “dumb ox,” a term of insult in frequent use back then by my fellow classmates and me. In the mid-60s, when I’d begun my college-teaching career, however, I would teach the term’s correct meaning to my English students with the then-popular anti-war example, “military intelligence.” Now, in 2024, the title of this blog can do that duty, illustrating as it does both choice and collaborative acceptance. Perhaps the most famous example of either/or is the beginning of Hamlet’s soliloquy “To Be or Not to Be.” I mean, the Prince of Denmark is contemplating suicide, to live or not to live. One can only be in one state or the other. The two are mutually exclusive. Yet even here there is a both/and possibility. For example, individuals suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease are still physically alive and identifiable with the persons named in their passports or driver’s licenses. Yet the human beings they once were in personality and mental acuity are lost and gone forever. They are no longer the they everyone knew...

In this era of severe political and social division, either/or seems in the ascendancy. Strong religious believers, for example, often perceive all other religious beliefs and their followers to be wrong. Only they and their religions are correct. I can only imagine how the Creator of all and everything would feel about that sort of human sectarian exclusiveness and certainty. The same holds true for ultra-patriots who see their country as the greatest and best despite objective evidence to the contrary. No wonder American colleges and universities are increasingly requiring that their undergraduates have at least one major international/cross-cultural experience as part of their bachelor’s program. The World War One popular song put it well: “How ya gonna keep ‘em down on the farm,/After they’ve seen Paree?”

As someone who is a Jew by ancestry, a Christian by baptism and confirmation, and a Muslim by having said the Islamic Confession of Faith in front of three adult male Muslims in Morocco, I am a thorough-going exemplar of Both/And. And it gets even worse. As a Christian for some 57 years, I’ve been American Baptist, Lutheran, Roman Catholic, and Episcopalian and a confirmed member in the last three. Furthermore, I’ve fasted for Yom Kippur, Lent, and Ramadan. I’ve studied and found wisdom in Hinduism, Buddhism, Confucianism, Taoism, and Shinto as well as indigenous forms of Animism. I’ve also been a faithful follower and international leader of the Indonesian-originated spiritual practice called Subud, a kind of Sufi Pentecostalism in which one moves, makes noises, speaks in tongues, or stands quietly in accordance with one’s inner prompting at each moment one is “exercising.” In Christian terms, it’s a kind of dance with the Holy Spirit.
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Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi (d. 2014), founder of Jewish Renewal, put the case for Both/And in religion this way: “From the ecological perspective, every religion is like a vital organ of the planet; and for the planet’s sake, each must remain healthy, functioning well in concert with the others for the health of the greater body.” Meanwhile, his friend the Catholic priest and Trappist monk Fr. Thomas Keating (d. 2018), creator of Centering Prayer, said in a similar vein, “All who seek to participate in Ultimate Reality are united in the same fundamental search. They relate to all of genuine value in every spiritual path.” In my opinion, Both/And will contribute to the planet’s survival, while Either/Or will ensure its untimely demise. And so, dear reader, I’ll conclude by asking you that Either/Or question of the 60s: “Which side are you on?”

Fr. Thomas Keating with Rabbi Zalman Schachter-Shalomi—a lovely example of Both/And!